LOYALTY OR SLAVERY

***LOYALTY OR SLAVERY*** 

**LOYALTY**

Loyalty and allegiance mean faithfulness owed by duty or by a pledge or promise. Loyalty is used for a very personal or powerful kind of faithfulness.

Loyalty, general term that signifies a person’s devotion or sentiment of attachment to a particular object which may be another person or group of persons, an ideal, a duty, or a cause. It expresses itself in both thought and action and strives for the identification of the interests of the loyal person with those of the object.

**SLAVERY**

Slavery is when a person is treated as the property of another person. This person is usually called a slave with the owner being called a slavemaster. It often means that slaves are forced to work or else they will be punished by the law (if slavery is legal in that place) or by their master. 

This is what many of us believe SLAVERY is all about but there is a new dimension to it. Some of us are moving around like we are freeborn but actually live like slaves on a daily. Yes. Some of us are slaves with a twist on who the master is. These masters call us friends, brother, family, my gee and a whole lot of funny names used as cover ups when in the actual sense of it, you are  nothing but a slave to them. 

Staying in an abusive relationship (physically or mentally)or any kind of toxic environment is not loyalty but.. slavery, ignorance. Simple way out?  Learn your limits and what self respect is.

The first person you have to stay loyal to is yourself just like you have to first love yourself before you love others. 

Loyalty and Slavery are almost the same because for both of them service to someone or something is a common ground however, Slavery is at the expense of your own freedom or will. Loyalty in excess is dangerous because if you find yourself in a position where your boss or friend or brother is living better based on your Loyalty to them but it's eating you up by over working for them then it's no longer Loyalty but Slavery. 

Being stupid (being a slave but thinking you are being loyal) is staying with someone, allowing them to abuse you over and over again and still expecting them to change. It’s like participating in your own pain. Dear, you need to change. Not them, but you. 

ABUSE in that sentence up there is not always physical but emotional and mentally too. You are always covering for your partner who won't stay to do what you both ought to do together is also an abuse. 

Dear.. please keep this in mind: if you ask people to respect you.. you don’t ask them to give you anything that isn’t yours.. you ask them not to take from you what is yours and what belongs to you! Protect yourself! This is because asking someone who doesn’t see what they are doing to you as being bad to respect you is like you staying under the sun and asking the sun not to make you sweat- that's just plain crazy. 

A wise man said these words to me a long time ago and while studying I came across it again; 

Instead of thinking: “Why does someone treat me like this?”, try with: “Why do I allow myself to tolerate any kind of abuse and why do I allow them to treat me badly in my space (life)?” 

People will be people meaning self-centered, selfishness, greed, possessive. 

A type of boss will never let you move higher because of your loyalty and what you bring to the table which makes them look good in the face of their own bosses and if you leave they will miss that, for this reason, they will withhold your promotion and give you what you want and not what you need. They will continue to give you fish and not teach you how to fish. Another type of boss will be the one to push you away even if you don't want to go because they don't want you to stay too comfortable and relax. When they see you are becoming a slave to them they find something better for you to grow with. 

** Slavery in place of Loyalty also happens in marriages and churches and many other places. Husband looking younger and better while wife is being over worked and looks older by minutes or wife looking good but husband slowly fades away because wife won't do what she is supposed to do as the man strives to feed his family. 

** Pastors who are aware of the financial situation of certain members of their church but would still enforce huge contributions on them simply because they are workers in church. They must get a gift for the man of God whenever his family is celebrating or they are punished in the name of serving God. 

** Friends use each other. One is ever faithful to the relationship while the other is not and will always make their friend go the extra mile because they have a good heart and care a lot to the extent that they loss themselves to a slavery friendship. 

** Some get close to you because of what they want to get from you and you will be the one doing everything for them until they eventually turn on you. 

"You can’t be with someone who doesn’t understand the wrong in what they’re doing. The same way you can’t be with someone who doesn’t worry about you, and doesn’t take your feelings into consideration as they would their very own."... R.M. DRAKE... 

A FRIEND of mine said this to me when I was down on myself...

"BOLA, If you have to remind someone constantly the same thing about how you feel and they don’t change it, understand that they don't respect you! You can’t change others but you can change how to deal with them." 

And this is very true; Maybe they aren’t aware of things they do that might hurt you. Speak up and see if the kind of change you desire comes out of the conversation. This would determine your next course of action. 

**Examples from the bible**

1. Relationship between Isaac and his father inlaw is that of slavery 

2. Relationship between Prophet Elijah and Prophet Elisha is that of Loyalty 

3. The relationship between Joseph and his master was loyalty to me because he wanted the best for Joseph and also Pharaoh and Joseph but his relationship with his brothers was slavery 

4. Relationship between most human beings and Jesus is slavery not loyalty because many of us only go to church or God for what God will do for us and not for what we will do for God.

**LIMITS OF LOYALTY**

1. When your loyalty is one sided; that is a sign to you. You can't just continue to give your all to someone who can't see the good you are doing or someone who doesn’t appreciate your work. 

2. When you are being used then over used on top of it; you should never allow yourself be too stressed, voice out to your friend, boss, significant other or whoever it is you are loyal to so that they know you are not happy with how the relationship is working. If you get sick from being over worked you are no good to them or yourself. 

This list will keep on going and it won't end, the most important thing is loyalty turns slavery mainly because you don't love yourself enough to see the value in yourself.

N.B. 

If your loyalty turns HURT to you, causes you your physical or mental health then it's slavery. Also, if someone won't first ask for your schedule before loading a bunch of work load on you they don't see you, they only see what you can give them. Be vigilant and attentive to signs around you so you won't be a SLAVE to any man or thing.

Author: Damsky Bola 

Email: Damskybola10@gmail.com 

Twitter: Damskybola10

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