THE FALL OF MARRIAGES (Homes)

August 14, 2021

THE FALL OF MARRIAGES (Homes)

***THE FALL OF MARRIAGES (Homes)***

This is for dating, courtship and marriage. Young and old should please take time to study...

marriage (ˈmærɪdʒ)

1. the state or relationship of living together in a legal partnership

2. (Law)

a. the legal union or contract made by two people to live together

b. (as modifier): marriage licence; marriage certificate.

3. (Ecclesiastical Terms) the religious or legal ceremony formalizing this union; wedding

4. (Law) the religious or legal ceremony formalizing this union; wedding

Marriage as an institution is usually based on love at least that is what most people think. Couples divorce not always because they stopped loving each other, they just cannot live with each other anymore (irreconcilable differences they call it). So for marriage to thrive and succeed, love is simply not enough.

The children from broken marriages are the most affected in this matter because it has the power to adversely affect the next generation. Till today, I don't think a lot of people have found what to do to stop broken marriages because if they have we won't be having this increasing rate of divorce home and abroad.

***There are some questions one has to answer before getting married;

1. Why should I get married?

2. Who should I get married to?

3. Can I be a good spouse?

4. Can I be a good parent?

5. Can I make it work?

If you can't answer 100% of these questions, you are not ready for marriage.

Age doesn't justify marriage readiness, one can be 50years old and still not be ready for marriage or even a relationship. Some are terrible at friendship not to mention marriage.

Money is good in every marriage as love is also good but because you are rich or you love that person so much doesn't qualify you to be dating or married to him/her. Not all love relationships are for marriage. You sometimes need to let go if you really love that person. Friendship with the person could be the best you could ever have with them.

Marriage is supposed to be passionate and full of love. It's not always about how much you want or need it but how much you two are ready to make it count forever for better for worse.

WHY MARRIAGES FAIL???

My view of this question is the FOUNDATION on which the home was first built. A solid home can't break when storm comes.

Matthew 7:24-27

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

If the FOUNDATION is properly built on God's standards of marriage, it will hold, the devil will always try to end good marriages especially godly marriages but going to God in prayers will definitely keep you pressing forward.

Psalm 11:3

"If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

***Many got married because they are wealthy: if your marriage is as a result of you having everything material that money can get, then it is set to fall to the ground.

***Many got married so they can have just one sex partner: if you are a whore male/female, don't think if you push yourself onto marriage it will make you responsible and make you stop. You have to learn to stop that on your own cos' when you are married, you have no decision of your own only but your spouse does:

1 Corinthians 7:4

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

N.B. What do you think will happen when you start having kids and losing that shape? There will be much more shaped ladies out there too.

***Marriages based on family arrangement: At a time, arranged marriages did work because it was a norm and people bought into the idea. However, in recent times it most likely won't work except there are fatal consequences if it doesn't happen. A home where there is no love and trust is not healthy at all.

***Many got married as a result of pressure: "Guy/girl you are not getting any younger, everybody is having their kids already and you are just there" "you have to grow up and be an adult" ... listening to voices like this has pushed lots of people to start a home that will only end up being destroyed in a short or a little long run, a home of strangers with fading love. This shouldn't be seen anymore and stop allowing people push you into doing things your are not ready to begin with.

***Many got married just because they don't want to disappoint their partners: they have been dating for years and noticed many issues or characters they can't cope with but yet they said to themselves "I'll learn to manage him/her and love cos' we have come a long way to start breaking each other's heart now." Then they got married and divorced later. It's better to break up a relationship with boyfriend/girlfriend if you love them and you can't cope with their character than marrying them and divorce later.

Malachi 2:16

“For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

***Many marriages fall as a result of selfishness, lies, lack of trust, insecurity, lack of forgiveness, lack of endurance and intolerance.

1 Corinthians 7:3

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband."

Sex isn't the only duty, it's just one out of many. Many stop taking their spouse on dates after the wedding or when kids start coming but it's not healthy for any marriage.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE???

Yes, the bible talks about this because there are some weak christians who can't stand what their spouse has done and yes it's not a sin if it's done according to how Jesus addressed it in the book of Matthew, but before I go into that, I need you to understand that just because you can doesn't mean God is pleased with it, we are human and full of emotions which God knows and that is why Jesus had to take on this issue:

Malachi 2:16

A strong Christian with great faith and solid Christ knowledge will always forgive and pray to God. I pray we get there in Jesus' name! Amen. However, if we are not that strong as a Christian and so we don't kill our spouse out of anger then:

Matthew 19.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:3–9 ESV)

The key word in the above passage for our purpose is the Greek word pornea translated in the ESV as “sexual immorality”. The word has a range of meanings, but is almost certainly a reference to the entirety of the Holiness Code as recorded in Leviticus. The Holiness Code exhaustively itemizes prohibited forms of sexuality:

And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbor’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her….. You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion. (Leviticus 18:20–24 ESV)

N.B. I beg you to read well for yourselves Leviticus 20:10–21 to understand more. Yes Moses talks a lot about the penalty of all the sins there but Jesus only came to amend the laws (Penalties) instead of death learn to forgive (Matthew 5) talks a lot about the amendments of the Law God gave to Moses then. Now is the time of grace.

If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. If a man lies with his father’s wife, he has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them…. If a man lies with an animal, he shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal… “If a man takes his sister, a daughter of his father or a daughter of his mother, and sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the children of their people….

But the most important is many divorce because it started with a bad FOUNDATION. A home or marriage that doesn't have God as it's foundation has got it all wrong.

Yes, yours started without God in it but because it takes two to agree on a thing both of you can genuinely submit your home to God today and rededicate your marriage again on the altar of God, it will become a new one.

No pastor can counsel you in your marriage if both of you are not in agreement with yourselves to see the marriage work out. You have to be 100% true to yourselves to make it work; you can only decieve yourselves but not God, you can't decieve God about repentance because He sees you more than you see yourself.

TAKE A STEP TODAY AND REPENT OF YOUR WAYS AND BE DEDICATED TO GOD; YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

Do not be deceived by saying the church is the best place to get a good spouse or school or fellowship. The church and fellowships are undoubtedly of God but we lie to ourselves that we are children of God because we go to these places but God can't be deceived only man can. Connect with God today and he will guide you to your own spouse.

N.B.

This is the time of grace where we must look past what anyone has done to us and forgive them not just for them but for ourselves because forgiveness is for us and not for who has wronged us. If you forgive you create space for God in your own heart to live. THERE IS NO SIN TOO GREAT FOR A SOLID CHRISTIAN WHO HAS POWER OVER THE FLESH TO FORGIVE AND FORGET but if you allow your flesh to rule you, then you are roasted.

Author: Damsky Bola

Email: Damskybola10@gmail.com

Twitter: Damskybola10

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